Do you think it happened as I had imagined so perfectly in my head?
HA! Of course not, I am a mother of a teething toddler who hates to sleep.
What did happen was, it took a half hour to get him to stop screaming in his crib, then hopping in the shower while listening to the soothing sounds of K chirping out his favorite dance song, Hot Dog from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Shaving my legs in a hurry, to hop out only for the screaming to begin again, and go to find out he wants more milk sippy.
So I rush to the kitchen, throw the bag of popcorn into the microwave, fill his sippy cup with more milk, rush to his bedroom before the microwave dings because if that dinging gets him curious and make him want to get out of his crib I may loose it.
I make it to the microwave 10 seconds to spare and I head to my bedroom with popcorn, brownies and drink in hand. Everything was set, I took a deep breath and started my moms' night in with my friends Sarah Drew, Patricia Heaton, Sean Astin, Andrea Logan White and Trace Adkins, just to name a few.
Moms' Night Out follows Allyson, mother of 3 young kids, who is in a desperate need of a moms' night. A night where she doesn't have to worry about anything but recharging her own batteries for once.
Allyson plans the whole thing: an adult only evening out at the most popular restaurant in town, with a Groupon of course. Her best friend Izzy, mother of twins and pastors wife and mother of a teenager, Sondra by her side. They are all dressed up and ready for a nice relaxing evening. All while the Dads try to tame the kids at home.
Unfortunately, there was a mistake with the reservation and it was all down hill from there as they go on a town wide search for Allyson's missing baby nephew, which includes a hilarious speeding car chase.
To put it simply, Murphy's Law at its finest.
That's the funny thing about motherhood isn't it? We will have our plan so perfectly thought out in ours heads, then reality hits and everything gets turned upside down.
So many times I have wondered, Are the things I do even worth it? Am I messing my child up royally? Is my job even important?
It may just be me but I have felt at times that I have given up every part of me to raise this precious little boy. Like in Moms' Night Out when she is hiding in the closet and picks up her favorite pair of sparkly stilettos saying, "I love these shoes! I haven't worn theses in, like, two years. They make my legs look so good!" Like I don't even know who I am as a woman anymore.
In reality we don't give up ourselves when we become moms. When we become moms we change.
Our priorities change, our lives change, we change.
Because it isn't just us anymore. We have these little helpless beings to care for and raise to hopefully become sane adults.
I do not have it all together, I am definitely not the pinterest perfect mom and most of the time I question if what I do and who I am is even enough.
But we as mothers are enough.
"I saw something on Pinterest the other day, it was an eagle just caring for its young. It's a beautiful thing to watch one of God's creation's just do what He made it to do. Just being an eagle. And that's enough. You all spend so much time beating yourselves up, must be exhausting. I doubt the Good Lord made a mistake giving your kiddos the mama He did. So you just be you. He'll take care of the rest."
- Bones, Moms' Night Out
Whatever I may have had before is worth nothing in compared to the amazing love and joy that I receive from being the mom of my little guy.
Nothing compared to the warmth I feel in my heart when K says, "Big hug mama" and wraps his little arms around my neck, the little hand slipping into mine as we take a walk or the "I YOU" when telling me he loves me. And just knowing that I am the one that God intended and planned to be his momma tells me that I am the only one qualified to do this job.
I am his and he is mine.
On parenting.."It's hard, and wonderful and beautiful and terrifying all at the same time." -Sarah Drew
Why we do what we do is found in the little moments: the laughter, the smiles, the messes, the firsts, the accomplishments, the small little hand in ours, the hugs and the chaos.
This time will not last forever. Take a deep breath, enjoy it and remember your job is important.