- Tara Joy Larrick
Why It Is Not My Job To Make My Son Happy
God blessed me with the most precious gift almost 2 years ago. In doing so He gave Eric and I the sole responsibility in raising Kolton, and as a stay at home mom it is my job to care for him day in and day out. My job description is a lot of things, but making him happy is not apart of it.
It is my job, however, to feed him when he is hungry to help him grow. To teach him not to run in the street, climb on bookcases or stand on a kitchen chair in order to keep him safe. To kiss his scrapes and bumps when he does fall, or to be there for him with open arms and a calm voice when he is upset or scared. To praise and encourage him when he does things correctly, and to gently correct him when he needs help.
It is my job to be open and honest as to why we don't stick our fingers in electrical outlets, throw hard toys at people and why we use our words when we are upset not our volume. To teach him to be patient for his dinner as it is being cooked, or for the toy that he wants but someone else is playing with. To say please and thank you when requesting and receiving anything that he wants in order to introduce gratefulness. To be helpful to others by throwing away his own diaper, and putting away his dishes.
And It is my job to demonstrate all that I teach him with my own actions and words. To ask for forgiveness when I have said or done something wrong, to check on him in bed if I say that I will, and to be patient with him when he is frustrated. It is my job to be consistent in everything that I say and do, to make sure he knows that he is loved, and secure through consistent boundaries.
It is my job to show him the love of God in everything that I do.
The bible says, Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6.
To train: to teach (a person or animal) a particular skill or type of behavior through practice and instruction over a period of time.
It is my job to demonstrate, instruct and help him practice the character qualities God calls him to possess because we are sinners and we are not born with them. This is something that even as Kolt's mom I must continually practice.
Children, especially young children like my little one, don't fully understand language so they depend on our actions to help them know the way they should go. They depend on us to equip them with the tools to cope in todays world, and to become the people God calls them to be.
My only hope is that he may learn through my actions that happiness is not dependent on someone else giving you something, but it is a personal choice that He himself can only make. I can provide him the tools, but he must use them.
What I can tell you is that your continuous effort in being consistent in not only what you say but also what you do, will reap the benefits. So far, I can fully attest that it works because my boy is a pretty happy kid.
Your Turn: How are you focusing on training your little one in the way they should go? I am sure we all would love to hear the different insights!